Tag Archives: animated gifs

“Glamerous Beauties”: the Article

Speaking of child beauty pageants (oddly, not sarcasm), Jezebel had a hilarious post from Normal Woman (to be differentiated from a Pageant Mom, which is  the title of another country altogether, one located far from the planet Earth) Tracie Egan Morrissey, who entered her baby in a pageant, “for the story”.  And quite a story it is:

 

(Obviously this photo is not mine but Tracie’s and is compliments of and referring to the Jezebel article in question. Now click that link:)

 

Read it, weep, then have a chuckle or a bit of a laugh as you look over the ever-growing collection of pageant baby gifs that I keep making (for some reason*) and see how exaggerated they apparently are not.   The article even references an actual toddler in a Madonna cone bra, which I really thought I was “hilarious” and “over the top” when I drew it here, but when Julia Robert’s hooker outfit from Pretty Woman is something mother’s dress their 3 year olds in, then a cone bra is… child’s play. (yessss)

*  A friend recently asked me what the joke was with all of the gifs and I had no response. Now I see my response should have been to say, “The job of the artist is always to deepen the mystery.~Francis Bacon”  and then punch myself in the face. I have no idea why I keep making these ridiculous gifs, is the answer.

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Li’l Dizzy Tails

Meet Cherise!  Cherise is 9 years old, her favourite colour is aquamarine, and her favourite food is cake.  She loves to spin around, but hates being dizzy.

Follow me on twitter @GillianGoerz

Sahara believes in Flower Power.

Welcome Sahara to the stage!  Sahara is 8 years old, with blonde hair and blue eyes! Her favourite food is milk, her favourite colour is baby pink and she believes in flower power!

Follow me on twitter!

Lil’ Sugar!

Lil’ Sugar is 6 years old, her favourite food is steak and her favourite colour is Rainbow!  When she grows up she wants to have a jet ski!

 

I do declare!

Well, I do declare, it’s Brianna, our little Southern Belle! Her favourite food is meat balls and her favourite colour is Orange! She loves to stand still, watch TV, and spend time with Peaches, her Guinea pig.

 

More of these bright young things to come.  Trying to get back to the Wed/Sat posting. We’ll so how I do.

Lil’ Beauties

Why stop with just one? Here’s another pageant toddler and another gif!

Cadence wants to win… OR ELSE.

“Glamerous” Beauty

After watching an episode of Toddlers & Tiaras (“working”), I made this very glamorous drawing… in which I misspell “Glamorous”.

Oh, how it amuses me!  These made-up children exploited for comic value! And their terrible, terrible parents! Some of the parents on this episode were actually quite lovely and supportive and their kids were into pageants, legitimately. But one lone mother and her darling hellcat inspired the above… and the below. From such lofty inspiration as T&T, I made my first animated gif (complete with uncorrected spelling error. Le SIGH).

She her shimmer!  She’s a STAR.